We all love Barack Obama and Michelle Obama, but their relationship has had problems. The first sign was when the former first lady stopped appearing with her husband in January 2025. The “Becoming” author was first absent from the funeral of the late former President Jimmy Carter, even though Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, and Donald Trump were there with their partners. 

Michelle’s advisors told CNN she was on holiday in Hawaii and couldn’t make it because of a “scheduling conflict.”

Michelle is a busy woman with a successful career, so it’s not fair to expect her to attend every event. But she’s spent years accompanying Barack to even the most awkward high-profile functions, so her absences got people talking. 

They have different love languages.

Michelle Obama and Barack Obama have different love languages and opposite ways of resolving conflict. In 2024, speaking with Oprah Winfrey on “The Light Podcast,” she explained that she grew up very close with her family, who showed their love by spending time together, not by talking about it. 

The Obamas are aware of their differences, but to keep their relationship healthy, it’s important that they continue to prioritize each other’s needs and learn about the different ways they handle situations. 

Many rumors have occurred over the years about Barack Obama and Michelle Obama’s marriage breaking down. In January 2025, a source told Radar Online that their relationship was not good.

People first started talking about the couple’s marriage breaking down just over a decade after Japanese politician Kazuyuki Hamada wrote a controversial blog post about them.

Barack Obama and Michelle Obama have not always looked like a happy couple. In December 2024, rumors about the couple’s romance intensified when they left a restaurant and appeared distant. A couple doesn’t have to constantly show affection in public to prove their relationship isn’t on the rocks. Still, the Obamas have always been affectionate and have never been afraid to hold hands in public, so their sudden distance was surprising.

Sometimes, one person might love their partner but not necessarily like them, but it’s unusual for someone not to like their spouse for a whole decade. Things were so bad at one point that Michelle even thought about divorce. However, the two of them worked it out, and Michelle told “Good Morning America” in 2018 how therapy had improved their lives. 

“Marriage counseling taught us how to talk about our differences,” she said, and therapy for couples is not something to be ashamed of. 

It’s okay for one partner to give up their career to support their family, but both partners need to agree on what they expect from each other. If one person feels pressured to leave work, it can lead to unfulfilment and resentment. In her 2019 book, “Becoming,” Michelle Obama explained that when she married Barack Obama, she didn’t think she’d have to give up her dreams and career goals, but she knew differently. She said that marriage was like joining two lives together as one, with the well-being of a family being more important than any one goal. Michelle also spoke about how she put her dreams on hold even more after they had their two daughters, Sasha Obama and Malia Obama (who look very different since leaving the White House). 

However, she felt that her husband, Barack Obama, did not support her enough after she gave up her career to focus on their family. In his 2020 book, “A Promised Land,” Obama wrote about how Michelle felt unhappy being at home all day while he was working in politics. She told him, “This isn’t what I signed up for, Barack. I feel like I’m doing it all by myself,” he said this hurt him.